Happy Mother's day : A bittersweet tribute

Hello B-NERDY visitors,

Today on Mother's day, my small tribute to every mother out there. Being stuck in this lockdown and constantly refusing my anxious mother to return home at this point of time, I decided to write something for her . I tried but to be honest there were not just beautiful words, some words reflected sadness, some hopeless high expectations. It felt really hard to be honest throughout article. I felt sad for us. Few moments later, I realized whatever it is, one emotion is constant throughout the lines, it's unconditional love.The love that she has for me since she knew my existence and same love I have for her till I am here. Funny part is, it's not just our duos, every mum-daughter duos has its best and worst stories. If you are expecting some sweet emotional words, you may get disappointed for you will walk through emotional roller-coaster:

She got the news."He saw you.He is ready to marry". It was indeed a big decision for a 18 year old to get married , may be it wasn't hers but her faith in her fathers' decision was enough for her.Back then, She was naive yet furious, confused yet stubborn lady. After marriage, It indeed was hard for her to cope everything. How mature can a 18 year old girl be who hasn't figure out her career, to be honest figure out herself. The best thing that happened to her in all those chaos must be me after few years and my brother after few more. She made her way anyway. Being a daughter of highly gazetted government official, she already had her struggles deprived from stable school life and accepting her mother's long term illness and looked after by some close relatives at different point of time. May be that's how she got to be one of the most pampered kids amongst big fat family. She inculcated potpourri of local norms, no wonder I feel hard to deal with her sometimes.

There were times when my mother's constant effort of not letting me choose my clothes during my teens turned me a rebellion and now how comfortable I feel with the clothes she had picked for me. How irritate she used to get when I was lazily lying around and now how happy I feel to be productive. Sometimes how hard she would be on me to follow some rules and traditions and I would be resentful.Well this hasn't changed yet. I feel I have completely different personality than her. Don't get nonplussed if I would want myself to be a better version of her as it's a common dream both mother and daughter shares. Apart from diabetes and near- narcissist attitude, I feel blessed to inherit her traits.

I am proud of that moment in her life when she decided to comback and complete her bachelors study. It was morning college from 6am to 10am. I am proud we helped her with everything we could. Me buying groceries on my own at really young age of 8 and starting to cook with my dad. A tiny bit of our effort and huge part of her endeavor.There was a break again for few more years when she was completely out of touch from her books, worked in NGO. She then got inspired from our new tenants and then she had second wave of comback. This time she decided to give exam for government services. Having a strong family background from her side, there might have been a huge pressure.

She is one of those people who can commit to any level once they decide to acheive it. I was on 8th standard then. Now my part of contribution changed from cooking to helping her with IQs. Till then, my father got to re-discover his love for cooking.The path she chose wasn't easy.Thousands of people would toil over years to get through it.I remember her infront of stacks of books when I woke up from the bed, still in same position when I came back from school and I would sleep feeling exhausted keeping up pace with her study. Everything seemed worthy after 6 months when she was selected for interview on every exams she attended. She was never so proud of her and so were we. Life changed when she had to work in different cities but unlike being self-centered and making her life hard, I decided to step back I enjoyed her journey as mine. Today she has completed Bachelor's degree on two subject and recently completed her Master's degree and she continues to excel.

If I were to point on our differences, I could write a novel 😅. But today I want to say you how proud I am to be your daughter.You needn't need to worry that I couldn't inherit those norms and beliefs you have. All I want to continue is your legacy of what you are, not what was expected of you. I will try to filter most out of yours and despite the differences I love you the way you love me.

Being a daughter I preferred portraying mother-daughter relationship. Time changes, with age you land up in different level of understanding. Though you are part of one another, it doesn't mean you need to be alike in perception and way of living, just be doubtless it's the purest form of relationship that exists.Let me know your story.

B-Nerdy,
Nerdy Biatch 😎

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