The clock struck 5 in the morning. The room was silent. Windows were closed. An uncapped pen was lying in table beside a long yellow paper with scribbled writing. A body was there moving like a pendulum hanging on the fan. Her face was pale and lips were blue. Her tongue was protruded which got dry. The rope noose was pulled tight around her neck. She had few transverse scars on her wrist. It was not her first attempt. Indeed a successful one though.
She had a beautiful physique. Girls would have to work out for months to be anything near that. The number of books in her shelf was more than anyone could have read. The trophies and medals embellished the charm of her room. There was a photo of a happy couple, one was her, other probably was her boyfriend. No one would have guessed the ambience of the room. She didn't seem to be a failure though.
Police announcement of lockdown extension outside the streets echoed in her room. Everything was chaos in and out. There was some time for her family to wake. After that long conflict of thoughts they had last night, probably today they would sleep till late. For days they are used to live inside home like animals trapped in a zoo. The lines on the paper end with "not good enough."
|Poetry credit: Janice Mirikitani|
Had she been told everyone has flaws in them, she would have her usual morning today. Had she been assured that it's okay not to abid by other's rules, the day would never be same. Had she been talked into her problems, she could use some help. If only the ego had fade away. If only the determination to live like she wished came along. If only she been encouraged to consult psychiatrist. If only her depressing nature was prioritize than the family's pride. If only those antidepressants and therapies were as embraced as an antibiotics in her society, this morning would not see another corpse.
Alarm rang next door. They would have no idea how sensitive she was. If only they could have not let their norms dominated against her. If only they could take her for consultation the time she tried to cut up herself. If only they wouldn't care what the so-called society blabbered. Someone knocked the door. There was no reply. Who knew at what point they would realize something was wrong. If only...!