Slipping away

Hey B-Nerdy Visitors,

Have you ever had the feeling of something slipping away? Perhaps the sand between your fingers when you try to hold them tight. There are things you would want desperately, and you put so much of your effort into them. There is a pretty good chance that things may not go accordingly to what you've planned for. It's safe to say most of us have faced this at one moment or other. Some prefer to hold into it and go for it until they manifest, and some tend to blame it on destiny. But what would you do if it's not up to you? You may be one of those who would be gifted a coupon and win a lottery, or maybe the other would have to earn their coupon and not win anyway. Let me assure you, it is okay to be either one. You are not alone. After all, it's life, right? 

I have moments of being unmotivated, considering that I am highly motivated and hopefully most of the time. I do prefer writing about happiness and motivation so that I can spark ripples of positivity. However, today I want to write about how I cope with my moment of sadness or inspiration. Well, after checking my hormonal cycle, I do analyze if there is something I could work for it. Most of the time, there is always something I can work on, if not entirely, but even the partial effort I make could pacify the thing I have to stress on. I believe in planning and taking baby steps. If there is something I am worried about, nothing or my effort cannot make any difference, I back off. Maybe doing nothing or saving nothing and letting things go, no matter how painful they are, is the best thing to do. I suppress or sublimate. Rubbing the crayons over the doodle may not make art, but it may help you. I have my own ways of writing, buying groceries, and cooking my food. Getting things done in your daily life, as little as having a clean room, brings energy. 

I had a dull day today where I was rejected by one of the places I would love to go. As I look back, damn, that hurt, not because I could not go there but the feeling of being rejected. My faith in my destiny and myself is so strong that I will make the best out of it wherever I go. I have my vibe echoed in a place already, and I hope to make it there. Well, I would love to have the privilege of choice, though. How come people I have to meet have so much faith in me and my future, yet, I am earning the lottery and scraping a blank one. I gotta find my lottery this time. Long story short, I am not the one with the continuous annoyingly hopeful word and optimism. I do have my moment of self-doubts, my moment of  "Oh no" and "What if." It's just that I choose to spark positivity. I am glad people feel motivated and light after conversing with me; it does not decrease my aura but dazzles it more.

I may not be Elon Musk, and I may not be Taylor Swift, but I would love to work hard to be the best psychiatrist someday, healing souls. I would love to be the head of something somewhere, telling people my success stories, my days of exhausting efforts and no returns, yet still making up till there. I may have come far, but whenever I write these, I feel that little me, sitting at the corner of that rooftop stairs in my house, writing in my diary. Going over through similar stories, different characters, strong emotions, and hopes, making mistakes and evolving, but something always remains the same; the fire in my belly.  

P.S: Make sure you seek help from a psychiatrist if you feel extreme emotions most of the time. You won't be able to snap it out if you do have the illness; your psychiatrist will help you be cured. 

Until next time when I'll write my travel story, keep updated, be kind, and be nerdy. 

B-Nerdy,
Nerdy Biatch 😎

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